Saturday, October 31, 2009

a little bit of what i know so far...

i think the strangest thing is how normal our life is after two years of waiting. of contemplating how this was all going to look, feel, be. her picture has been up on our refrigerator since we got our referral in july. this flat, bendable, shiny picture of this little person that would be joining our family in a matter of months. this picture was the closest thing we had to her. the updates that stated weight, height, social and physical growth served a purpose -- she was growing, feeding herself, etc. but looking into those ginormous eyes every morning made me feel connected. it made her feel real.

when a child is born to you, there is the counting of fingers and toes. noting of the hair, or lack thereof. the silly talk about who the child looks like at 2 minutes old. for me, our child coming thought the gift of adoption, i didn't look for 10 fingers and 10 toes (although i do admit i noted how neatly trimmed her nails were.) what i looked for was her spirit. who was this little person? what did the world look like through her eyes? what were her quirks? left-handed? right-handed? favorite food? what does she do when she's happy? sad? frightened? this little girl had 17 months of life already under her belt. i was a stranger to her. she was a stranger to me. and yet, i was her mother and she was my daughter. these were things i should know.

so far this is some of what i've learned in our two weeks together: she loves bananas. she eats 3, 4 sometimes 5 a day. she likes to feed herself. she believes hummus is a breakfast food. she's a lefty. she loves magnets. if you try to give her something she doesn't want, she makes this, "tssk, tssk" sound that i remember hearing adults in ethiopia make. if she's angry, she throws her hand in your direction several times dismissing you from her presence. this is accompanied by a wrinkled forehead and pouty mouth. she doesn't like to be dirty. and yet a poopy diaper doesn't phase her. she's not afraid of dogs. at all. she loves them. she likes to wear shoes in the house, breaking our no shoe rule. she is very dramatic. she like to throw herself down on her back, arms above her head, legs slightly bent and she starts off with a whiny, whimpery sound that escalates into full on yelling with possibly a tear or two. many times the tears just well in those big eyes, threatening to drop. we call them her alligator tears. and she sings in the car.

i'm happy to say this is a pathetically short list. i have so much more to learn about our little girl. that is why we have our forever life together in this moment and ahead of us. the journey to a child through adoption can feel like forever. but really, your forever begins the day you meet your child. and see those ginormous eyes in person.

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