i shouldn't start writing right now. i have 20 minutes. not enough time. but, it will help me get to the point. i am freaking out. i have 9 days until i get on an airplane to ethiopia. i mentioned the lists that the agency gives you. it has a whole bunch of paragraphs on "appropriate" dress. it is clear that i have nothing to wear. my friend who is ethiopian and coming with us says they don't know what they are talking about. you can wear anything. i have nightmares that i wear the wrong thing when i meet our daughter and they say, "uh, sorry. you offended us. too bad. no baby for you!" i just want to do everything right.
i stood in the baby's room last night rearranging stuffed animals, toys, the rocking chair. this morning it all looks wrong. i don't have any diapers in my house, but i did buy safety latches for the cabinets and have been bugging the hubby about getting the baby gates up again. and i guess that's another thing. what if she gets hurt? we have to have home visits every month. what is she falls down and the social worker says, "uh, sorry. you let her fall down. too bad. no baby for you!" and takes her away? i know that is totally off the wall, but it runs through my brain. will i be good enough?
the teachers at my preschool are awesome and so excited about the coming addition to our family. they asked me to let them know how i wanted them to approach talking to the kids about adoption. i should know how to answer that right? not right. i know how i talked to my kids about it, but being the template to teach a bunch of 4 year olds in mass about adoption? not comfortable. i don't know how to do that. in the winter our baby will be at that school and she's not going to look like most of the other kids. so i'm bringing a picture of her to the classroom and i'll just field the questions that surface from the kids curiosity. and do the best i can.
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Annice... all this is perfectly normal. You are going through "nesting" again in anticipation for her. If your Ethiopian friend is coming, She will defiantly be the buffer you need. And guess what? anything you don't have in the house, you can simply buy! You are a great mother and you have so much love to give, I believe in you so much.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the other kids, I'm not sure what to tell them exactly but maybe something along the lines of families coming in all different shapes and sizes.
And as far as adoption and to explain it to the kids... I found this..
Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted." "What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child. "It means," said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."
We all have faith in you.
if you weren't worried about it, then we could worry that you wouldn't do a great job. you are thinking about your baby and your big kids and all of the other kids and families involved and affected - you're a rock star mom.
ReplyDeletei can't wait to hear about the trip.
i like the last line that Violet wrote. that is really awesome.